Ways to Say Thank You

How do you say thank you after a job interview or follow up after a promising client meeting? How do you express appreciation for a mentor’s advice, or thank someone for a solid referral? Gratitude is the coin of the realm when it comes to taking that extra step to cement a relationship or seal a deal, so you should be prepared with the answers.

The simple act of saying thank you or following up after an important meeting used to be essential etiquette, socially and professionally. But, like paper maps, BlockBuster, and common decency, professional etiquette was murdered by the internet. It’s just so easy to send an email or tap a smiley emoji into WhatsApp.

Is there a way to say thank you that isn’t the same old email that will be skimmed, skipped, sent to junk or deleted? Everyone sends an email, and everyone skips those emails because they already know what they’re going to say:

Dear [Interviewer’s Name], I want to express my sincere gratitude for the opportunity to interview for the [Position] role at [Company Name] on [Day]. It was a pleasure learning more about the team and the exciting projects [Company Name] is working on, especially [specific detail from the interview].

Actually, There Is a Better Way to Express Gratitude

Your grandma knew all about it, and maybe it’s high time you did too. We’re talking about an age-old method, an old-school analog hack for showing gratitude that will put you miles ahead of your competition. Sending a handwritten card is an impressive, remarkably engaging and effective way to express appreciation and gratitude. A handwritten card can also be deeply moving.

In this post, we’ll discuss various ways to say thank you, follow up with style, or send a positive thought to someone who deserves one. We’ll cover the art of creating handwritten notes, including timing and templates, and give great tips that will make you the king of gratitude.

We’ll also cover best practices for saying thank you in an email (but we won’t enjoy it).

Why Gratitude Matters in the Legal Profession

Lawyers deal with a lot of negativity and stress. There’s the cultural attitude that attorneys are somehow ever so slightly evil, an attitude preserved in terrible jokes, memes and just regular conversation. Then there are the perennially disgruntled people lawyers encounter daily — the opposition, mean judges, losers, tire-kickers, dockworkers, zoologists, and astronauts — who maintain this perception.

The insane hours lawyers work don’t help dampen the stress. I’m married to a lawyer, and I haven’t seen her since 2007. She’s still going through her emails — which, to put a point on this, good lord, the emails. The texts. The Slack notices. The WhatsApp dingles.

So, yeah, lawyers are going through something all the time. Anything that can tamp down that stress nugget is a good thing worth pursuing.

One way to mitigate the effects of all the negativity and pressure is by developing a practice of gratitude. It’s true; actively practicing gratitude can be transformative. It can significantly improve mental health, overall outlook and even relationships by reducing stress and fostering a more positive mindset.

Gratitude matters. But don’t take my word for it; listen to [a very large number] of professionals who say the same thing, including Brene Brown, Jamie Spannhake, Teddy Snyder, and attorney and success coach Gary Miles. According to Miles, cultivating gratitude can give lawyers joy, better sleep, better self-esteem, higher resilience, a sense of optimism and, the reason why we’re here: improved relationships with with clients.

(Read: “Why Should You Be Grateful? How About More Clients?”)

I would add that gratitude would also greatly grease your relationships within your firm or office. Honestly, any relationship can be improved by a simple thank you. Saying thank you makes anyone feel valued and reassured, and in the competitive maelstrom of the legal profession, that kind of value matters.

Try it. Just pop your head out of your office and tell your intern/legal assistant/office manager that you’re thankful for their work. Observe (carefully, you weirdo) how it improves their attitude for the rest of the day.

Best Practices for Follow-Ups and Thank You’s

A written thank you note straddles the gray area between business and personal. By making the gesture, you are reaching outside the usual limits of your professional persona the merest bit.

Check Your Tone

You should consider who you’re writing to and customize the message to meet their culture and expectations. When I say culture, I mean both their professional culture and their culture-culture. This is a global economy. You might be sending a card to an associate in Korea or Brazil. Their expectations and professional cultures differ from yours and each other.

The tone of your message can vary significantly depending on whether you are writing to a close colleague or a new business acquaintance. For instance, being slightly personal or informal works in America. You can write a note like this:

Hey, Bob—I just wanted to drop a line to let you know I was really dazzled by your presentation. Keep it up, player.

In fact, Bob will probably feel touched by your home-spun coach speak. But in some countries, this kind of informality will touch them in a different way—and by that, I mean not in a good way.

While they won’t dump a relationship or a deal because of it, they might take a read you didn’t expect. They may consider you more on the bumpkin end of the scale. They may think you’re hinting at something very much more personal than you meant. There are many ways to say thank you, but when sending handwritten notes or emails abroad, be super careful about etiquette. (The Association of Legal Administrators has some good advice on cross-cultural communications here, including don’t be a jerk.)

Of course, most of your emails will be to people within your business culture comfort zone. Levels of formality ebb and flow between different firms and businesses, but for the most part, you can be slightly informal while remaining sincere and not stepping on any toes. If you’re worried about it, use your professional voice and to hell with being informal. It will change the tone of the message but won’t lessen the effect. Saying thank you hits either way.

It’s always helpful to be helpful by including links in your email to any relevant resources, articles or case studies. It shows you know what you’re talking about, and that you’re genuinely interested in their work or the issue at hand. (For tips on nurturing business relationships, read Sally Schmidt’s advice in “Following Up Naturally“ and “Follow Up to Increase Your Chances of Getting Business.”)

Craft the Perfect Thank-You Email

Right. The reality is that you may not have a nice thank-you card or any decent stationery on hand. In that case, you should send an email. I’ll be really disappointed in you, but it’s better than saying nothing. Do yourself a favor, though, and get it right. Templates, examples and even robots can help you with this, but learning and internalizing the skills for saying thank you in a follow-up is important. There are best practices for this kind of thing:

• Always use a polite and professional subject line.

• Reference the recent conversation to show attentiveness.

• Express gratitude for the recipient’s time and reinforce your interest or value.

• Include a call to action (next steps or availability).

• After a call with a prospective client, for example, include details from the call, thank them for their interest and schedule the next thing.

• After a job interview, emphasize your interest in the role and gratitude for the opportunity.

• After a client consultation, summarize key points, thank them for their time, and be clear about the next step.

• After receiving valuable advice from a colleague or mentor, express your gratitude and mention how their guidance has helped you.

Or, Ditch the Email and Impress with a Handwritten Card

Handwritten thank-you cards carry a personal touch that stands out because they’re real. Unlike an email or a text, you can hold a card in your hand. You have to. It requires actual effort: to receive it, to open it, to unfold the card, to read. Unlike a phone call, there are no awkward pauses or strange gaps in the conversation. You decide how it looks, you can write and rewrite. What you send is as close to perfect as you can get, so when it’s read by the recipient, they experience you at your best.

That card is better than an email for another important reason: It is an artifact. It will not go into an Outlook folder. It will sit on your client’s desk next to the picture of their family for a week or two because it’s beautiful and it matters. They will keep this card because they know you put effort and thought into it. You had to write the words. You had to address, seal, stamp and mail the envelope. A lawyer’s time is valuable. Your notecard represents how much you value them because you used some of your expensive hours to do it.

That’s a lasting impression. Think about that. How have you left a measurable, lasting impression in the past? Besides that one time at the office holiday party.

Your professionalism, of course, speaks for itself. You are a charming, insightful, dedicated virtuoso. But those are all intangible traits. A card is a tangible asset that speaks on your behalf from the hands of your client, boss, lead or colleague.

In an industry where relationships and trust are vital, tangible assets make a difference.

Scenarios Where Handwritten Notecards Are Particularly Effective

A card, a note, or a single line written in loopy cursive (actually, print for anyone younger than 35) exerts an influence that endures. Its realness and generosity—your thoughtfulness—engenders a trust that lasts. For a new relationship, it signals worth. For established relationships … well, it also signals worth. But for both, it indicates sincerity.

Regularly sending handwritten notes can be a part of your effort to practice gratitude in your professional life. Here are a few events that call for a something handwritten.

• After a client consultation to express gratitude and summarize key takeaways, making clients feel heard and valued.

• After a job interview to stand out from other candidates by demonstrating genuine interest and showing you took the time to make a personal gesture.

• After a referral to thank those who refer business to you, strengthening professional bonds and encouraging future referrals.

• For special occasions such as birthdays, milestones or anniversaries with your firm, adding a personal touch that builds rapport.

Tips for Writing a Gracious and Impressive Handwritten Thank-You Note

• Keep It Brief and Sincere. A few well-chosen sentences are often more impactful than a lengthy message. Express your gratitude or appreciation clearly and concisely.

• Reference Specific Details. Mentioning something specific from your recent interaction shows attentiveness and reinforces the connection.

• Use Quality Stationery. Invest in high-quality cards and envelopes. This adds a layer of professionalism and makes your note feel special.

• Handwriting Matters. Ensure your handwriting is legible. Taking your time to write neatly reflects your professionalism.

• Make It Personal. Address the recipient by name, and if appropriate, mention personal details such as a shared interest or a particular detail from your conversation. Personal touches demonstrate attentiveness.

• Timing Is Key. Send the handwritten thank-you card as soon as possible after the interaction. Promptness shows enthusiasm and attentiveness, which is key to maintaining a positive impression. Ideally, aim to send the card within 24-72 hours after the interaction for maximum impact.

• Include a Business Card. When sending a handwritten note, including your business card can be useful, especially if the recipient may need to contact you later. It serves as a gentle reminder of your services.

• Use a Signature Sign-Off. Develop a consistent, professional, and warm closing signature. Something like “Warm regards” or “Sincerely” followed by your name can leave a positive impression.

• Choose Appropriate Language: The tone should match the relationship—formal for new clients or prospects, and slightly more informal for long-standing clients. Avoid overly complex language; keep it natural and conversational.

• Avoid Generic Phrases. Instead of cliché phrases like “Thank you for your time,” try something more specific like, “I genuinely enjoyed our discussion on [specific topic].” Specificity adds warmth and authenticity.

Timing Your Follow-Up Matters, Mostly

Initial encounters with clients or potential employers may seem like a first date, but the expectations are different. And the expectations of follow-ups aren’t as laden with anxiety. Well, mostly. You may struggle with when to say thank you just as hard as someone struggles with when to text after that first date. But the answer is much simpler for work-related stuff: right away. Don’t sweat the timing. Send that email and say thank you as soon as you click out of Zoom. Send it in the elevator on your way to the lobby. Send it the moment you fall into your chair at the office (or from the couch or the kitchen table, you gloriously remote worker).

Expressing your gratitude promptly can leave a lasting positive impression.

The same goes for handwritten cards—but don’t expect an immediate reply. The USPS takes a minute. It’s worth it because, more than likely, the personal touch and the experience of receiving a card may lead your recipient to give you a quick call, which is exactly what you want.

Your Thank-You Card Follow-Up Checklist

To ensure your thank-you cards are effective, use this checklist.

• Choose the Right Scenario. Determine if the situation calls for a handwritten note (client consultation, interview, referral, special occasion).

• Use Quality Stationery. Select high-quality paper or cards to make a professional impression.

• Buy a stamp. A stamp feels more personal than using the postage meter.

• Personalize the Message. Reference specific details from your interaction to demonstrate attentiveness.

• Keep It Brief and Genuine. Express your gratitude in a few sincere sentences.

• Use Legible Handwriting. Take your time to ensure your handwriting is neat and professional.

• Include a Business Card. Attach a business card for easy future contact.

• Deliver Promptly. Send the card promptly, ideally within 24-72 hours of the interaction.

• Use a Warm Closing. Finish with a consistent signature sign-off (“Warm regards, [Your Name]”).

• Double-Check for Errors. Proofread the card for spelling and grammar.

• Add a Personal Touch. Mention any personal detail or shared experience to make the card memorable.

Photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash

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